The dignity of the bullied
by SlytherinElektra
Summary: After a new fight, part of the Avengers imprison Loki, again. But something is different he is quiet, apparently injured and less grandiloquent and the good Captain notes some striking similarities between the villain and himself. Steve POV. Dark-ish.
1. Chapter 1

When we found him, he fought against us, again.

But he was out of his game, strangely slow, strangely disheartened. His clones were blurred and disappeared too quickly for the illusion to be half as effective as they once were. It was still Loki, he still had that crazy smile and the bright eyes and he remained really quick, but it felt like he was powered down. We still raged with him for forty minutes, even with the over-motivated Clint working sharpest than ever, but something felt off. There was not that feeling, that threatening air he had the last time. He looked like he was just fighting to defend himself. Primary basic -albeit a bit tired- self defence. In fact, he hadn't done anything remotely Loki-like on whatever time he had spent on earth. Since SHIELD's technology picked up his arrival until we arived to arrest him there hadn't been a single dead body and when we arrived there were no grandiloquent claims of any sort. In fact, the only the thing he said was a low _You will not stop me_.

But I thought nothing of it, in case it was a trick.

But we did stop him. Even if Clint and I were having some trouble, about forty minutes into the fight Stark appeared and a blast from one the weapons his metallic suit had knocked the Asgardian out. While he was unsconscious I tied him up and put him in the helicopter, always careful in case it was a trick and he was really awake somewhere else. It was not the case. He was unresponsive. And he was injured. Not just by us (we have barely touched him except for the blast) there were a lot of older wounds, some half-healed some half-infected. I wondered how he'd been able to keep up with our fight while this badly injured. I thought maybe this was the reason he was keeping a low profile and not making big speeches, maybe he just wanted to recover.

But I didn't think too hard, in case it was all a trick.

The injuries could be illusions, trying to make us sympathise with us using our good will. One could never be sure with Loki. So when we finally arived at SHIELD headquarters Fury decided to lock him up in their safest cell -one designed again for the Hulk, but this time with Banner's participation- and try to figure out what the hell he was doing here while minimizing direct contact with him. We thought about calling Thor, so he could explain why his brother was not in jail, but he was in Asgard yet again, which made contact difficult. Also Thor was the only one who knew how to bring the trickster back to his homeland, so he wouldn't cause anymore destruction here on Earth. Even if Loki didn't seem up to much destruction, sitting in the corner of his cell, silently staring at nothing with bruised eyes.

But I reminded myself this was most probably a trick.

I went down to the cell with Fury to try and find something about why was he here or how had he gotten here. I kept reminding myself to have my guard up. No matter what, Loki could not be trusted. But everythin changed. I kept my eyes on the prisoner while Fury spoke to him. Nothing. No response, no reaction. He remained silent. And then Fury got mad (because he was close to Agent Coulson, or because Loki destroyed their operation base or...), he got really mad and said something about Loki being pathetic.

Unfortunately, that word brought back a lot of memories. Memories of countless times in Brooklyn, being pushed around, laughed at, mocked, beaten up. _You're pathetic, pathetic, pathetic_. Being bullied into a corner, devoid of all defences and insulted. Called pathetic. And in that moment the bully expected you to break, to cry, or scream or put your hands on your ears so you didn't have to hear those words. But I never did, I never broke down. I just stared at them proudly even if I was bruised and cornered because I was not pathetic and they would never make me. Because I was proud of myself, because they could not take away my dignity. Because they could not win, ot those bullies. I would not let them, never. So I stared at them to prove them wrong, to make sure they knew the only thing that was pathetic was their behaviour, that I, small as I was would never fit in that description. Staring... staring just the way Loki was staring at Fury.

And this seemed less and less a trick every minute that passed.

Fury threatened Loki with getting there and smashing him against the wall if he didn't speak, honoring his last name and I felt dirty. I knew it was probably a technique to make him speak but I couldn't bear it anymore. I had seen myself (if only briefly) in the Asgardian madman's eyes, and I wasn't with him but on the other side. On the side of the bullies. On the side that called people _pathetic_, on the side that bound people and put them in a cell while unconscious instead of helping them. I was the bully. I was everything I'd hated, everything I feared I would become.

Was this a trick? Was this all Loki's making?

I couldn't shake that feeling that it wasn't.

I had to get out of there, I could no longer bear it. Without a word I left Fury's side and went to the bathroom, to freshen up. The trickster God's kept coming back to my head, proud yet hurt, accostumed to mistreated and accostumed to face it with dignity. That determined look that screamed _I'm not pathetic_. He wasn't. Loki was murderous and insane but he was also capable of extremely smart. Not that bullies ever cared much about that, they even used it as fuel for their insults. No, no, no, he should definitely not be thinking like that. He was with SHIELD, not with some insane superpowered villain. He'd been right to fight against Loki and he'd been right with he tied him without even checking how grave were his injuries and simply hand him to his bullies...

What if this was not a trick?

What if Loki was an alien version of himself before the serum, trying to prove that he was not o be bullied? What if all this felt so wrong because it was, in fact, wrong? Trying to clear my head, I went to out and met Banner on his lab. He was watching the feed from Fury's interrogation on one of the computer screens.

"You okay, Captain?" he asked me "You left quite abruptly."

"Director Fury doesn't need my help." I said, trying to think of a better excuse. Banner looked at me, incredulous.

"Have you found a way to communicate with Thor?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Tony and Selvig are working on it, they will call when they have something ready."

"And you stayed behind?"

"There was an excess of brilliant scientists in that room. Like you just said, they didn't need need my help." Banner said, but I suspected something more. "Besides, I wanted to watch Loki. That guy tried to use me...or use my other half as weapon to destroy our headquarters, I thought it be best to be careful with him. But he hasn't spoke about any purpose or any mission. He looks different, less smug... strange. What do you think, Captain?"

"There was something different when we fought, something wrong... but one can never trust a man who's been called the God of Lies, right?"

As soon as as I said those words more memories came back. Of all the names they had invented for me and called me... stupid nicknames I tried to ignore, but that that hurt nevertheless. What if God of lies was another thing the Asgardian bullies called the cornered and bruised Loki while tried to remain dignified and impassive? This was driving me crazy. I saw Fury leave the cell and decided to go there and talk to him myself, to at least apologize for some of Fury's words.

Now I didn't even care if this was all a trick.

T at least be able to look at myself in the mirror and stop seeing a bully.

When I finally went down to his cell, Loki stood up holding my gaze proudly, almost challenging. The same way I had when kids decided that it was time to beat me up. The same way I had when older people had laughed at me. And I realized how wrong things could have gone without the serum, without the war, if I'd had to keep that attitude for years while the insults built up in my head.

And I realized how many things this alien madman and I had in common.

A/N: Liked it? I hope so! You know you want to review!


	2. Chapter 2

I stared at him and couldn't think of what to say. Should I really be apologizing to him? This man a killer, an enemy, the kind of people I fought while on uniform. This man had killed Agent Coulson... and lot of good people. But he was not in a uniform now, he didn't have any weapons and he was being called all kinds of names while caged like an animal.

And I looked at him for a while, from the other side of the glass. He looked paler (not that he'd ever had a tan or anything, but it was quite remarkable) and his clothes were ragged and dirty. Nothing to do with last time's impressing alien armor with the helmet and the horns and the stick and everything else. The power. No, he looked more naked, more defenseless, more sad. Maybe this was the trick, trying to look vulnerable and manipulating good hearted men like myself for his advantage. But something told me this man was too proud for such a low trick. And if that was the case, he would have profited Fury's speech from earlier to look hurt, maybe shed a couple of well-timed tears.

He would have taken advantage of his injuries. They were not in plain sight, for everyone to see. Most of them were hidden, some fresh, some older looking. I recognized a graze from one of Clint's earlier and some abrasions from Tony's blast, but the rest were a mystery. And they seemed old and painful. There were a lot of cuts in his hands, too, and one of the fingers looked broken. A dark bruise was forming on his left cheek and a series of nasty looking diagonal cuts were visible on his neck, red and swollen, probably infected. I didn't even want to imagine how he looked under those torn clothes.

Apparently, he noticed the way I was staring:

"Is this the last technique the mighty Avengers have concocted to extract information out of me? Looking at me with such intensity that I have no other choice but to crack? Well, it will probably not be very effective, but you have annoyed me. That's more than what can be said about colleagues, Captain."

He had a smile plastered on his face now, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. It was not a genuine smile and I wondered why he was keeping up this whole charade, this pretense of being the old Loki. Your mask has fallen, Loki, I've seen the real you.

Maybe I was reading too much into this. Maybe I was inventing everything, or maybe he was. But trusting my instincts had proved helpful in the past and my instincts told me that I had the right of it. That there was no trick.

"Loki"

I started, uncertain, but stopped myself. What if the others were watching? What would they think? What kind of soldier was I, fraternizing with the enemy like that?

Nevertheless, I needed to say it, for all the wrongs that had been done to me and to countless other boys and girls, back on my time and in this time too.

"Loki, I wanted to apologize for Director Fury's words earlier." I said, and his eyes widened . "He had no right and no place to say those things, to treat like that. You may be a prisoner but that does not justify his behavior. And you are not pathetic and never were."

Loki's expression is part confused, part cautious. He looks at me like I had looked at him, as if he was trying to figure me out. Trying to understand. Finally, he lowered his eyes and smiled at me, resigned:

"I never knew you were such an excellent liar, Captain. It's quite a talent, you could achieve great things with it. But I'm intrigued, I thought you were more honorable than that." He says, half-slurring the words, looking at me with that unwavering look.

"I am not a liar!" I shouted, hurt.

Fuming, I turned around. How did he dare doubt the words that were so difficult for me to speak? And then, I realized.

"But of course you wouldn't believe me. Not me, not any of the rest. They never apologize, they never even look back. Because they don't care about your feelings, or your dignity, or your worth. They just see you as scum and use you, mock you and hurt you, make you feel utterly _pathetic_ so they can feel better about themselves. And you try to prove to them that you're not only as good and important as them but maybe even better, but all your words, all the things that you know, the books you read, everything becomes useless when those big oafs drag you and beat you. You try, you keep trying to defend yourself but they're stronger and suddenly all your knowledge seems a waste and they're there, mocking you and calling you pathetic."

Loki is listening carefully, eyes wide, and slight flash of fear in his eyes. He was probably wondering how I knew about all that, mentally making a list of whoever might have told me about him, and how he was disliked and mocked. But I didn't need to be told, because it was also part of my life.

"But I am not them, Loki, I am not a bully and I will not condone such actions. I won't let anyone do anything remotely close to that in my name. I could never..."

I realized that my hands had turned into fists and that my voice had started to break. Memories of a thousand beatings flooded my mind. Memories of people telling me I should've fought back. Memories of trying so desperately to prove that I could, indeed, fight back. Bruises, cuts, broken bones. I vaguely wondered if Loki would have broken bones, too, but was too proud to show any pain. He kept looking at me, curious. He was closer to the glass now, and had a guarded (but less cold) look.

"You do mean it, don't you. That is why you left earlier." He said, almost whispering. "But how could you...?"

"I wasn't always a soldier, a captain. There was a time when I was just a small kid, easy prey for the bullies. I know what it feels like. And I know how much it stings when people call you pathetic. I just wanted... needed to tell you, that I am not one of them. And I wanted to apologize to you."

He looks at me and is silent for a while. Then his expression softens:

"I never thought I would say something like this, but apology accepted, Captain."

I smile, almost unwillingly. The guy had no idea what those little words meant for my troubled conscience. Maybe he just said it to get rid of me, but I didn't care. The important thing was that I'd stood up against injustice and excess of power.

"Thanks." I answered, because I was truly thankful.

I looked at Loki again, and somehow realized for the first time that he was a person, too, with his thoughts and his problems, who bled like the rest and probably hurt like the rest. Maybe even more, seeing how many times he'd been defeated. Up until now I'd only considered him the enemy, a threat that we had to fight, and an alien to top it all. But behind the glass was a person with feelings and...His voice suddenly interrupted my train of thought.

"If this sudden... shall we say,_ niceness_ is some sort of scheme so I open up to you and tell you why I am here or explain to you any sort of method on how to get me back to Asgard I'm afraid you are wasting your time, Captain. This time I have no desire to tell you my purpose or any of my plans." Loki said with an air of confidence that suited him much better than the sad expression from earlier.

"If you do indeed have any plans." Maybe he was just escaping, looking for somewhere where his many enemies wouldn't get him. A half-smile appeared on his lips.

"You are way more intelligent than people give you credit for, aren't you, Captain?"

I smiled again. This was probably cheap manipulation, but I was starting to like this man more than I should. I hoped I wasn't blushing.

"This is no scheme." I said, focusing. "In fact, the rest of SHIELD is probably wondering what on earth I'm doing. But I felt I needed to step in."

"And why is it that you felt the need to do that, if I may ask? "

"I just... I wished someone had apologized to me. You know, before the serum almost nobody took me seriously and after nobody would dare do the things they used to do. Sometimes I wish I had the chance to prove that I was able to defend myself without the muscles and the strength and the shield. To have them admit what they were doing was wrong. And you have to be the change you want to see, right? I just…. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror after what Fury said."

"A man of high moral standards... you'd probably do well in Asgard." And as he said those last words a sudden look of grief flashed in his eyes. Oh, how I wished to know what had happened to him! But he was not going to say a word, he had told me so. Maybe with time.

I got called, so I said my goodbyes and left, but decided to see Loki again, hoping to figure out the mystery surrounding him. The next days I took the habit of spending some time with him, part curious about him, part feeling guilty that the guy was so isolated and lonely (he hadn't engaged in any villain-esque nonsense since he arrived and I didn't feel like hating the guy). The first times it was just me talking and him listening (Loki specially seemed to enjoy when I complained about Stark's senseless references or about SHIELD, in general) but then he started adding some sentences too. Oddly enough, he seemed to grasp this modern day technology way better than I did and explained me how to work it, through some interesting metaphors.

Sometimes I had dinner in his cell, when the people from SHIELD let me in. We talked about the strangeness of the place and time and shared that feeling of being an outsider. A lot of times I had to remind myself that this man was a killer, someone who shouldn't be trusted.

But after spending time with him I realized that this man more than a killer, and that he hadn't been like that all of his life. I didn't know the details, I knew almost nothing about his life in Asgard, but I could see that something big (and negative) had happened and only after that he went into villain-mode. And if he hadn't been always a villain maybe there was hope for him.

Yes, I knew he was evil. I still remembered that he should be in jail for his horrible crimes. But he was in a kind prison here, and he hadn't even attempted escape. That had to count for something, right?

After some time I found Loki getting even paler and developing a nasty cough. After a heated discussion I convinced Fury to let me enter in the cell with a first aid kit to try and disinfect some of the wounds. The Director finally accepted, but asked me to bring my shield in case Loki took anything from the kit and used it as a weapon.

Banner gave me some advice (he'd had more medical experience than the rest of us) but decided not go in, avoiding small closed spaces, as usual. I noticed that of all the people in the Avengers he was the only one who seemed to understand or support my encounters with Loki. I made a mental note to ask him the reason later.

So I came in with the first aid supplies to the cell I already knew by heart. Loki was sitting in a corner, fiddling with some loose threads of his torn shirt. I made another mental note to ask for a change of clothes for the prisoner. He looked surprised to see me come so close and with something in my hand.

"It wasn't easy, but I convinced the bosses to let me bring you some medical supplies to treat your injuries."

He seemed reluctant at first but after some coughs he resigned himself.

"I thank you, Captain."

"No problem. Just take off your shirt, so I can see the damage."

He did.

I gasped.

His chest was in a really horrible state, all black, blue and blood red.

Those wore not war wounds.

That was torture.

A/N: Hope you liked this part! As usual, I'm not English so I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes. Please do leave your impressions and comments in the review section, it's the best motivation to continue!

You know you want to review!


	3. Chapter 3

I looked into him, shocked. There were scars old and new, some red raw wounds, some dark purple bruises. All of his chest and stomach were criss-crossed with wounds, the neck also... And there was something that looked like chemical burns on his forearms. I wondered how he'd been up and talking until now, how the hell he had done to hide the pain for weeks and act as if nothing was wrong.

But there was something more important.

"Who did this to you?" I asked, meeting his eyes again.

The look he gave me, all proud and confident, reminded me that this man had once been a prince.

"That is not your concern, Captain."

"It is! This is not right, Loki, this...Plus, I am the one treating you so I should know how you got these injuries to be able to heal them properly..."

"You do not need that information. It is an Asgardian matter and does not concern lowly Midgardians like yourself."

Well, even if he was in the insulting mood again, at least now we were getting somewhere.

"So, this happened while you were on Asgard?" I asked, even if I was almost sure that the answer was positive. Again, as the last time he mentioned his hometown a look of pain crossed his face. It amazed me, how a simple word would hurt him more than all those burns and bruises.

"I am grateful for your help up to now, but I do not wish to discuss the matter. If that creates some kind of problem to you, you can leave."

I sighed, defeated. This was obviously a sensitive matter for the guy and he didn't know me. And I was working for his enemies and captors.

"Ok, I get it, you don't wanna talk. But if you ever want to, I'm here and I'm told I'm a good listener." Loki only nodded, stern.

I opened the medical kit and starting pulling out some supplies. I didn't even know where to start. After a while I decided to start with the neck wounds and continue downwards. Loki would occasionally cough, sometimes more softly, others more brutally, but that was the only indication that he was not all right.

You'd think, from the way he'd been speaking and acting earlier that he didn't even feel pain at all. But when I started applying the alcohol over one of the worst looking wounds in his shoulder he flinched and looked at it, making clear that he could indeed feel pain, but he just didn't want to. In fact, the slight sign of weakness he'd shown seemed to bother him greatly and he put on again his _I-don't-feel-anything _mask on and look straight into an undefined point across him.

His eyes were more sad since we brought up Asgard. I wondered what had happened there to hurt him so bad and if Thor was somehow involved. And I wondered if I was ever going to know. I understood things better now, after seeing this. He'd obviously been through some sort of hell and the skill with which he covered it up told me this hadn't been the first time.

"You don't have to try so hard with me, you know. I already know you're a strong guy. I mean, not many people would had survived the beating the Hulk gave you." I told him, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Even I am scared of him. And the punches he gave Thor... I sure am happy he's on our side!"

"I must admit, even I admire that creature. He answers to no one and welll... he does what he wants. He punches both friends and foes with the same vigour. "

When I mentioned Thor another thing occurred to me. After he'd been punched and thrown into the air, he recovered inmediately and after his fight in the helicarrier he'd seemed ok, too. I thought it was because he had some sort of alien speed-healing, but if that was the case, why wasn't Loki healing too?

I continued to go over the angriest looking wounds while chatting about mutual acquaintances. It surprised me that Loki still felt I kind of fondness for Barton, even if he knew that it was definitely not mutual. The way in which he talked about Clint made me think about the time when he was working against us. Had his brainwashed minions the only people he could talk to? And why did I care about it anyway? He was a mass murderer and an enemy and a trickster. I should not forget that so easily.

I kept trying to figure out a way to find out what had happened to him while I continued cleaning and dressing his wounds. I could imagine those proud features unperturbed while he was poked and burned.

"Will you tell me more about your time, Captain? I am quite curious as to how things have changed so fast is such a short time as seventy years."

I conceded, happy. Most people didn't care about time and my stories and just tried to explain me theirs and how it was so much better. But Loki listened carefully and seemed interested in what I told him about my neighbourhood and my friends and my... not so friends. We kept talking about the forties and its wonders while I continued healing him. I spoke about silent movies and the uncanny talkies that came after them, about the war...

Before I knew it, I was talking about about Bucky. After such a long time burying the grief, trying to drown the memories (but never really succeeding) I found, to my embarrasment, that my voice was cracking slightly and my eyes were a bit watery. Damn, when did all this become so intense? I was afraid that Loki would store this information for future attacks or simply mock my weakness but no.

Nothing like that.

"He passed like a true warrior and a honorable dignified death. If you have to die, it is one of the best ways to go, don't you think?"

Yeah. Yeah. It could've been so much worse.

I went back to healing part, now focusing on a nasty looking gash on his side but I was not paying too much atenttion (still a bit distraught by memories) and carelessly shoved the disinfectant into the wound. The strong unmoving column that was Loki, shut his eyes and closed his fists, biting back a scream, obviously in pain.

"Sorry, sorry," I apologized, confused. "But shouldn't you be like magically healed? You know, alien heritage and that stuff."

"I was left without my healing abilities. What kind of punishment would it had been if I instantly recovered of every blow? No mercy for traitors."he whispered, eyes still closed.

I was disliking this more and more. Every bit of information I got made me wish I didn't know anything in the first place. But I needed to know. Damned curiosity.

"I have to ask. Was Thor ok with this? What was done to you, I mean. I understand you don't want to tell me the details but I work with the guy and if he condones torture, well... I'll have to have some words with him. At least stop being nice to him."

Loki smiled.

"Oh, Captain, as Midgardian would say you are highly _cute"_ he said, and this time I thoroughly blushed. "And I see what are trying to do here, sly man, trying to get the information you seek on an indirect way. Well, since you seem so interested in the matter and your demand is reasonable, I will tell you. Of the whole ordeal that caused this scars Thor was the only nice surprise. He kept asking for me to be treated as a regular prisoner, to be left alone in the cell, without the flames and the venom and the rest of it...The so called extraordinary punishments. He went to the high council, as heir to the throne, to stand up for a prisoner's dignity. He went to Odin and Frigga as their son to ask for mercy, that fool... He's the first to know there's no mercy for a traitor."

I was horrified. More than horrified.

"Your... your parents had something to do this?" I said looking again at the constellation of injuries covering the black-haired man's chest.

"They are not my parents." He said, looking at me, proudly as always.

I kept his gaze. His parents had let him be tortured while his brother asked for a little mercy, to be denied. No wonder he was so messed in the head.

"Jesus!" I said "But you grew up with them, I mean, they should at least..."

"The Allfather wanted to make clear that I would receive no different treatment for who I was. Ironically, in his attempt to treat me as bad as any other prisoner he ended up treating me worse, defeating the purpose of the whole thing. But you souldn't be so surprised, Captain, you must know taht it is important to make an example of an captive enemy to teach the others not to get near. What would the next generations think if I was just shoved on a cell for the rest of my life?"

"Life in prison is horrible! And it's punishment enough. I don't condone what you did, of course, but burning and slashing is not answer either. We don't torture, never. It makes you as bad as you enemy."

"But there are some people who need to be taught a lesson." He said, darkly.

"This kind of treatment only fuels the hatred even more. If you'd had any kind of support group, any kind of back up, they would have had the right to strike back and... it's a never-ending conflict."

Loki's eyes became icy as he stared at me.

"But I did not have any kind of support, did I? They could play with me all they wanted, with no consequences. No one was coming to save me, that was another part of the punishment. To see yourself become the symbol of all that is rotten, of all that shouldn't be, the disgrace, the worthless traitor of Asgard."

"Jesus!" I couldn't help myself.

This was worse than all I imagined. While I was prey of some mean boys from Brooklyn this man was the prey of a whole country. He was bullied by his family and friends. This man had lived the same thing I did but in a much more epic scale. And much more closer to the heart.

I was horrified but he just smiled at me. He didn't seem that didn't seem crazy or evil... there was only an echo of sarcasm in his expression.

"Don't concern yourself" he said "I don't plan on going back there anytime soon."

My head went back to Selvig and Tony, getting everyday closer to find a way to transport him back to Asgard using some sort of energy signature form Thor's last visit. Up to now I thought it was a good idea (it was his home after all) but now the thought of sending anyone, much less this person who'd become -despite my wildest efforts- a friend to a horrible fate like that made me feel horrible.

Yes, he was a killer and he'd done many horrible things and I had not forgotten any of them, but this was not the way to solve them. If they were trying to break him mentally and physically, how were those Asgardians any better than Loki? How could they be trusted?

It was not right to take someone (no matter who) and return them to his torturers after he'd somehow managed to escape. This was me, being side by side with the bullies once again.

"Is something amiss, Captain?" Loki asked, between coughs.

How could I look at him again, when I was part of the team that was going to send him back to hell again?

"Yes, yes, I... There are some wounds that need stiching and you'll need some antiobiotics for the infection and the cough. I'm not very good with those things but maybe I can convince Bruce to come and finish patching you up."

"Banner? You think he will want to come to my cage to help me heal? On his own free will?"

For some reason, I did.

"Yeah. I'll convince him."

I started gathering my things, still a bit shaken up.

"Captain?"

"You can call me Steve." I said, because that was my name and I'd been calling him by his since day one.

"Steve, then, I only wanted to say that I am grateful for your assistance. You are most kind."

And that was it. Now my heart was melting.

When I went back to headquarters I ran into Stark, who seemed worried.

"You okay, pal? There was some sound glitch on Loki's cell feed and we couldn't hear anything you guys were saying. We were afraid he could be hypnotizing you or something."

Of course. He wouldn't want anyone else to know the story, anyone else to know his weakness, how he'd been disgraced. Just the same I would not tell anyone else when I was a kid and I was beat up, I just went to my room and thought of ways to my fight them back the next time. I didn't want pity or people looking at me differently. I didn't want to be that poor kid.

"Don't worry, he was perfectly civil." I answered "By the way, how is that transport you were working on going?"

"Almost finished! It will be ready in a matter of four or five days, I think, a week tops. I don't want to bore you with the details but..."

"Then don't" I interrupted "I was not going to understand them, anyways."

"Ok, blue-spandex-butt, I get it."

That night I couldn't sleep.

I didn't know what to do. Try to help Loki, somehow? I would be going against all the allies I had (except Thor, maybe) just to help escape a convicted murderer. But I also couldn't bear the thought of him sent again to that horrible place, to be broken, and laughed at, and lose the sanity he still had left when I could have prevented it.

Why was everything so damn complicated?

A/N. Sorry for the long wait, hope you liked it! To make up for it, the chapter was really long. Next up, we'll have Steve's decision and some Bruce Banner, among other things. Hope you're still enjoying!

You know you want to review!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, after having almost no sleep at all, I decided to talk with Dr. Banner.

Talking to myself I was making no advances at all. Part of me felt I should just let the matter go and continue with my life. Loki was a war criminal who had been captured and sentenced in his homeland, like many others had before. As long as he was no longer a danger to the United States of America or any other country it should be OK. Every country had different legislation on criminal punishment and I didn't go around saving everyone from unfair punishments. We needed to have faith in the adequacy of the law, because if we didn't then all of the system, all the things we'd fought to preserve didn't mean a thing. All the values we cherished and Loki had tried to destroy like human life or freedom. So, it should be a good thing that he was being sent back to Asgard away from us and to a place where his actions wouldn't go unpunished.

Yes, it should be as simple as that: Loki was a prisoner who had escaped prison and when found should be return to fulfill his sentence. Back to the prison where he belonged to pay for his misdeeds. The same way countless other criminals had been. And Loki had killed people close to us, he had murdered in cold blood: he should be sent back and continued to be punished. It should be as easy as that: you break the law and you pay for it.

And it was easy. In theory.

But theory was only a part of the equation. The human part of it, the one about ethics and human complexity, the one about feelings, that one screamed that it was wrong on so many levels. For one, Loki wasn't so different from a lot of us. We all had shadows in our past. The Hulk had caused much destruction over the years. Stark had won millions selling weapons that were then used by all sorts of criminals. Agent Romanoff used to be a professional assassin. But none of them were being tortured for past misdeeds. No, they had been given a second chance and were enjoying it. Putting those things behind themselves to start a new future.

But for alien Loki, bullied Loki, despised Loki there were no second chances. He was punished in a cruel and unusual way by his own friends and family. And no one in the whole planet was willing to get him a second chance. As the man himself had said he was _the toy everyone enjoyed breakin_g. Him, who had been a prince was now was publicly tortured. And I knew that if we sent him back there he would lose what was left of his sanity. This was a man with a dangerously unstable psyche and we were sending him back to torture. Not in my watch.

But what was left to do? How could we fix this?

I entered Banner's lab and found him, fortunately, alone. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't even know how he would react. Maybe he would be indignant, and tell everyone about my doubts, maybe tell Stark to hurry up the transport. Maybe he wouldn't care as long as he was not implicated. To tell the truth, I didn't know the man very well. I avoided him because I was afraid to set the Hulk off. It was probably a bit unfair but I'd always been careful about safety and Hulk was a hazard in that department.

"Good morning, Dr. Banner." I said, making my presence known.

The Doctor threw an awkward smile.

"Captain! Now this is…. unusual. How can I help you?"

_Ok, Rogers, this is the time to do it. No going back. You made a decision now stick to it._

I passed a small note to Banner in which I asked if we were being listened. If everyone was going to know about this I would prefer to keep it to myself.

"No, we're not" Banner answered, looking at me confused "Feeling that controlled makes me anxious and since no one wants me to feel anxious Tony's disabled the sound and even the cameras at night. But why? This is something about Loki, right?"

"How do you know?" God, I knew the man was smart but no that much.

"You've spent a lot of time with him…. And they way you fought to have healing him allowed… There's something going on."

I told Banner the story in the simplest shortest version of it. Basically telling what the problem was and asking for a possible solution. He listened carefully while I told my tale nodding and nervously playing with his glasses.

"I get why you wouldn't want to send him back. The ways of those Asgardians can be a bit…. Brutal, if Viking legends have any truth. And I also think Loki's not playing us, when he was here last he was always looking for attention with flashy little numbers like Stuttgart and this time… He's been quiet, withdrawn, people have forgotten that he's here. The guy is different. He could perfectly be trying to lay low, as you suggest."

I was glad that the man was supportive. Having an ally, especially one intelligent and from this time could be really helpful. Even if still didn't know what I was going to do.

"So what do you think we should do? Sending him back seems a bit too cruel."

"Why not come clean? Tell Fury and the others about what you know…. Let them handle it, maybe?"

Not an option.

"And what do you think he would do? Declare war on a land of godly creatures over the treatment of a war criminal? Say that their system was flawed? Just let the man who destroyed a big chunk of Manhattan lay low here on earth? I don't think so. Loki would probably be returned there sooner knowing he's such a valuable prisoner for Asgard, in return for their help in case of an Earth emergency. Fury's an strategist, he does what he thinks is best for the interest of our planet and having Loki around, with the many enemies he has is not exactly safe. As for the rest of the Avengers… Barton probably wants him to suffer, stating that he deserves it; Romanoff probably thinks he's playing us, and I think Stark could go both ways. But no one we know is going to take a stand for Loki. And I would be breaking his trust, parading him as a broken toy who needs help, showing everyone that he is everything he's trying not to be: weak, defenseless, alone. It's incredibly humiliating when people know that you've been beat up imagine how it must feel if when you realize that your enemies know how your own dad beats you to a bloody pulp. It can be pretty destructive for one's pride. I'm not going to do that to Loki."

Banner stared at me for a long moment, probably trying to take in all my monologue.

"Wow, you really thought this through, didn't you?" He asked me. I guess I had.

"Couldn't sleep last night."

"Why did you come to me? How did you know I was going to be on your side?" Banner asked, and it was a perfectly legitimate question. One that I thought about as well.

"Of all people here, you are the one who knows how it feels to be despised, like he is, and you seemed to be more interested in him than the rest, who only wanted to get him back to his homeland …..It felt like you were more sympathetic."

"I was interested in Loki, still am." Banner said, finally leaving his glasses on the table. "Studying him I realized that he's not that different from any of us. Did you know he jumped into an abyss after being defeated by Thor? I mean, textbook villain is wanting power and immortality and this guy goes around seeking not power but attention and attempts suicide? He's way more complicated than we think."

"Exactly!" I said "We all have our lights and shadows, but I our darkest times someone recognized the good us, told us to hold on to it and gave us a chance. A chance to be better. But Loki never got that chance. He only got torture and humiliation and millions of enemies."

"So what you're saying…. Is that you and I could him that chance." Banner said.

"Yes! Or no… Maybe. I don't know what I'm saying. Part of me feels like he should be in prison for the rest of his days but the other part wants to give him a chance to undo his wrongs in a more active way. Like Agent Romanoff does. He is a remarkably smart guy and he could do a lot of good."

"But if he is returned there he will be killed, or kill himself or go totally mad. I get it."

"He's been really discreet this weeks like you said, maybe if we could get him out of SHIELD's radar he would continue to be discreet, no torture, no murder, just him laying low to avoid being found by dearest Dad. And maybe being grateful to us for not handing him over. Thor would be I'm sure."

Banner sighed, an exhausted look in his eyes. He seemed more reluctant than before.

"We would be helping an intergalactic criminal, you know that?"

I knew. I understood all the risks.

But I needed to do it. So I started another monologue.

"It could've been me just as easily, you know. We grew up being mocked for our knowledge, our fondness of books. Being beat up and ridiculed constantly. But I had someone who believed in me, someone who saw my potential and encouraged me. His name was Dr. Erskine and he helped become the man I am today. But no one gave that chance to Loki… ever. No one supported him in his dark hours and he fell into the abyss"

"…figuratively and literally.." Banner noted.

"Right now, I am all that Loki has. Someone to see that light in him, someone to give him a chance. The same chance we all got."

We stood in silence for a while, thinking things over. Every now and then I would glance at video feed of Loki's cell. He paler than ever, eyes closed and head against the wall. Probably trying to forget the world outside. I remembered doing that when I was kid. Just closing my eyes and imagining the rest of the world didn't exist. The bullies, the mean guys, the girls who wouldn't even look at me. I imagined being someone stronger, healthier and well-respected. Like Bucky was. But then I opened my eyes and everything was still the same.

"I know it's a big decision" I told Banner, after getting out of my thoughts "but you don't have to make it now. Why don't you come the cell with me, talk with him, see what you think? He still has some cuts that need stitching and he'll probably need something for the infection so we can use medical attention as an excuse."

"I…. I don't…. You know what? Why not? I-I mean, yes, let's do it!"

This was going better than I expected. Yes, Banner wasn't completely convinced but he was very close. And he'd had an especial interest in Loki for a while. I knew he wasn't as reluctant as the others.

We were granted permission more easily this time and less than an hour were heading to the cell with all the supplies. Loki faintly smiled when he saw me entering but his expression hardened when he saw Dr. Banner. Suddenly, all the vulnerability he'd shown with me was gone and he was back to being proud whole elegant Loki.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him, trying to break the tension.

"Not exceedingly well, but I have endured worse ailments than these." He said with that smooth voice of his.

"Dr. Banner is here to help you heal, as I told you."

"Hi, Hi-hi.. Loki." He said, awkward as ever, and started taking out his supplies to o a check up on Loki.

I started chatting with Loki about literature(who knew he was a fan of poetry) while Dr. Banner proceeded to distract himself and myself also. I didn't like the concerned looks Banner was giving me. Not one bit.

Then, after some minutes there was silence and Banner was looking at Loki straight in the eye. No doubt, no awkwardness. And then he spoke. No stutter.

"Loki, you are very sick. Is there anything else I should know? Anything you're not telling us, anything at all? I'm here to help you, you know. I'm with Steve. With you."

And then Loki drew one of those sad little smiles, so full of regret.

"I wish I could I believe you." He said, in what was hardly more than a whisper.

Shortly after his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell in a dead faint.

I called his name once and again. No answer.

A/N: Did you like it? I hope so! Sorry for the huge delay, hope you liked the chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts! And no worries, I'm not abandoning this story! Reviews are love ^^


	5. Chapter 5

After a while, I distanced myself from Loki to let Banner tend to him. He was working incessantly now, giving him shots, checking his vitals, the works. I tried to be calm but couldn't stop pacing around. Was I too late? Why hadn't he told how he sick he was? I would have helped! Had he been in declining health and in pain while I bothered him with my stupid technology issues? Had he been dying while I complained about Stark's ego? While he explained how to work mortal technology in seven easy steps? And had I been watching and done nothing? And I called myself a hero. Stupid, clueless Captain America.

But when had I started to care so much? Not so long ago I only harbored hatred for Loki. He had killed a good man, a man who had helped me adapt into this world. Was I insulting Agent Coulson's memory by being this concerned about Loki's wellbeing? Maybe it was all for the best. Maybe his death would solve everything and make everyone happy. Avengers and Asgardians alike. The many enemies he had, scattered through the galaxies. They would smile in his funeral.

Well, to hell with them. To hell with Asgard as his stupid laws, to hell with all the enemies. This man was my friend. He'd listened when I complained about Stark's ego, he explained technology to me in seven easy steps. And, most important of all, he had accepted my apology, that first day. He knew (with the deep knowledge of the mind and other's feelings a trickster like him had) that if he hadn't accepted them I would've felt bad, really bad. I would have felt like a bully, I would have started to reconsider all my heroic my life, my authority. Maybe I had been too much, maybe I had treated people unfairly. But he didn't. He accepted my apology and my company, he had even thanked me for treating his injuries. For being nice to him. He had forgotten his royal pride to thank a lowly Midgardian like myself only for being there and caring a bit about him. And now he could be dying.

But I was not going to think like that.

Loki would be all right, he would get better and escape Asgard's tyrants, he would show all those people who thought so little of him that he was strong, intelligent and a brave warrior. Like he had shown me. And then all those bullies would have to eat their words and their laughs and their mockery. We would give him the chance of a new life, a new beginning. A chance for him to be finally valued and respected. We only had to show him the way. His quick wit and strength of character would do the rest. Of course.

Some minutes later, while my head was still full of contradicting thoughts, Banner finished working on the unconscious god. I looked at him, expectant, but he didn't seem too happy.

"How is he? What can you tell me?" I asked, nervous.

"There are many things I don't know or understand, but... something is clear. This is no common infection. He's in a lot of pain and it isn't coming from any specific wounds, maybe it's a spell or a curse, I don't know. But the wounds are not infected, none of them. I think, I'm not sure, of course, but I think these symptoms are caused by the body trying to just get rid of what's causing the pain. The fever trying to kill it with heat, the cough trying to get it out of his system. I've dosed him with a bunch of painkillers but I don't know if they'll work. Even if they do, they won't solve the problem, only decrease the symptoms. There's an ongoing cause for all this pain that I can't figure out and he won't be able to get better until that is solved."

Bad news, very, very bad news. I could already see my hopes of a second chance for Loki fading away.

"Has he been in that much pain all this time?" I asked, even if I was afraid to hear Banner's answer.

"I'm afraid so." he started "but he's been able to handle it until now, I think. I'm only speculating here, you know, right? I'm just telling you what I think this is based on what I've gathered here, how he's acted this last weeks, and my medical experience. I think he was able to keep the pain at bay at first, but he reached his limit. So his body started fighting back, trying to win the battle before shutting down, but it was too damaged. Between Asgard and the battle with you guys when he first came here, he got weak, and his body cannot take the strain this battle is causing. But I cannot be sure, I mean... he's an alien."

I went back to the long seat/bed where Loki lay. I never knew being so pale was even possible. He was truly an otherworldly being.

"Will he die?" I asked, softer than before.

"I don't know... Hell, I don't know if he can die. But if this keeps up... He may get a bit better with the meds, but eventually, if we can't fix it, the pain will come back and his body will shut down. He could fall into a coma and never wake up."

I closed my fists, angry. This little smart kid, this alien version of myself, was going to leave the world after knowing only defeat, pain and humiliation. My good intentions had been too little, too late. I scribbled a note to Banner (_Meet me in your laboratory tonight, when there are no cameras. I'll think of something. We'll fix this_) and left.

I was so, so angry. Angry with myself for not seeing it. Angry with Loki for not saying anything. Angry with Banner for bearing such bad news. Angry with Thor for not asking help to save his brother when his pleas were unheard. Angry with that whole planet. Angry with himself, again, for caring so much, for letting this affect me so much. Loki should not be my concern.

As I lay in my bed in SHIELD, I let my thoughts go free. I thought back to the time spent with Loki this past weeks, our many conversations. His voice.

"_You are way more intelligent than people give you credit for, aren't you, Captain_?"

"_This technology should be no challenge for you, allow me to help you..."_

_"The glory of battle is too often stained by blood, indeed..."_

_"I knew you'd grasp the concept of electricity quickly, Captain. Now that you do,..."_

_"I am familiar with Midgardian philosophy, too, as it happens, and your argument reminds me of a saying.."_

_"Steve, then, I only wanted to say that I am grateful for your assistance. You are most kind."_

My friend. Somebody who finally understood me. Someone who knew about my past and respected me for it.

Somebody who I could not save. Just like Bucky. Useless Captain America.

Bucky. Loki. Even the names sounded similar. Two men, two friends, two bitter ends.

No, no, no! Enough! I was not going to let this end that way. I would learn from my mistakes, I would make it right. And give Loki that second chance. Show the world how far a smart skinny kid could go, how wrong they've been bullying him. Help him make amends, help him help other families and save many lives. Help him make peace with the world, with Thor, with himself.

While there's life, there's hope.

That night, I arrived at Banner's laboratory with a half-baked plan but a great determination. I didn't even know if Banner would show up but I really hoped he did. He'd seemed quite sympathetic earlier. I didn't have to wait long because minutes later he appeared, disheveled as usual.

"I thought of something. But I will need your beast." He was not going to like this part of the plan. "We go there, to give him more medicine and you get mad at me, for any stupid reason. I take Loki out, afraid that he will use the chaos to escape, like he did in the helicarrier. It would be nice if you could get the Hulk to the smash the cameras and microphones, the electric system. I bring him here, we get changed and sneak out. I get him somewhere safe and secret, some sort of laboratory where I can try to work on finding out what's killing him. I know that Thor's girlfriend, from New Mexico, is a scientist, and if Thor has told her that he's concerned for his brother, maybe she'll..."

"I have a secret lab." Banner interrupted me. "I go there to disappear after a Hulk... incident. It's under a fake name, I've told my close friends it's in Maine but it's not. Nobody knows where I go. But are you sure you want to do this? Destroy SHIELD property, lie to your friends... just to help Loki?"

"Trust me, there's a constant battle in my head too. But he deserves this after the hell he's been through. I started the same way as him, you know? I forged documents and lied to get in the army. I wanted to prove myself, show others I could be a warrior too. But I cheated. Before I could prove anything, I became this perfect soldier, strong and big. I was Loki but became Thor. And suddenly everybody took me seriously with the muscles and the indestructible weapon. No one questioned my place in the army, then. They wrote songs about me and even made a trading card collection. But there's no songs about skinny Steve, about the boy I used to be. He's the same as me. The same I was."

"You're not evil."

"I know... but I also know he's not evil either, not truly. Like you said, he's just looking for attention and validation. For someone who tells him he's just as good as Thor. Something happenned in Asgard, something really bad, that shattered the little self-esteem he had. Now he's constantly looking for someone to praise him, to give him power so he'll be able to like himself again. He tried Asgard and failed. He tried the Earth, and failed. He was tortured, humiliated, mocked, burnt and slashed. But somehow he was able to escape that. And now we can give him his big break, his second chance, his validation. But we need to get him out of here before they take him back to that place. Back to being tortured and being called monster. This is the right thing to do, Banner."

I knew those last words would affect him. It hadn't been an innocent choice. Banner sighed, uncertain. He looked up, he looked own, he looked at me. Until, finally, he spoke.

"You know what? You're right. Fuck SHIELD and the rest of them. We're not letting them take Loki back to that place. If he goes back to evil after this, then we'll stop him again. But those scars and burns will haunt me, I'm telling you. And I've seen many bad things. And... if we told the rest they would only get in the way, make us waste time, which we don't have. Let's do this!"

I smiled.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Banner. I wouldn't be able to do this without you. Thank you, really."

"We're plotting in secret and I'm going to give you the address of my secret lair. I think it's time you call me Bruce, don't you?"

I smiled again and nodded.

"And you can call me Steve, of course!"

Now it was time for action. It was an easy plan, so there was not much preparation required. I called to ask for rental car to wait for me and Loki, for when we got outside. Prepared the clothes and wigs we would change into. Bruce and I told the others we were giving Loki some more meds. Everything was in motion.

When we entered the cell, I was happy to see that Loki was awake. This would make things easier.

"Loki, you're awake! Are you feeling any better?"

He looked at me, and there was an unspeakable sadness in his gaze. No hope.

"They can see me now." He said, softly, avoiding my eyes "Heimdall and the others... When I lost consciousness the spell that hid me was broken. I was able to restore it but they got a glimpse of my location. They'll come for me soon, to take me back there. I fear this is the end of my stay, Captain."

Damn. I never took that into account. This gave us even less time. Banner looked at me, anxious. Loki spoke again:

"I have enjoyed your company... Steve. You are a good man who succeeded where I failed. Stay strong. Never stop confronting the bullies."

The image of Bucky before he fell came back to my head. No. Not again. Not again!

"Don't talk like that, Loki! We'll get you out, you..."

But I was interrupted by an explosion, by burning behind us, and thunder. When the smoke cleared, I saw Thor, escorted by a blond man and a black-haired woman. They all looked very out of place, with those viking clothes.

"Friends, I have come to retrieve my brother." Thor's familiar voice said, solemn.

"Thor, you don't want to do this. I know you think what they're doing to Loki is not fair and..." But Thor's grave voice interrupted me, while he and his friends got closer.

"What I think is of no importance. I did not come here to debate. I have orders and I shall fulfill them."

"That's why the other two are here, isn't it?" Came Banner's voice, stronger than ever. "Because you wouldn't send your little brother to that hell again if you came alone."

Thor's stare softened a bit. The woman next to him spoke, then:

"Loki is just facing the just consequences for his actions. Now stand aside so we can bind him and bring him back to Asgard."

Banner was getting angry. I could see it. Those Viking warriors would have to prepare.

"I'll handle them. You take Loki and run, as fast as you can."

Loki heard it, too, and his eyes widened. _That's right, we're on your side, _I thought and smiled at him. Thor and the other two came to us at full force, but The Hulk appeared and threw both Thor and the woman to a corner. I was without my shield, fists ready, the blonde man was stopped by a flash of green light. Loki and his magic. It was really uncanny. I could see that it was taking him a lot of effort but he kept going at it. God bless survival instinct.

When the Asgardians were entertained by the beast or knocked out - I soon realized that Thor had changed sides and was now fighting with the Hulk- I took Loki's hand (he was breathing with difficulty now, but still standing) and led the way.

"Let's get you somewhere safe, my friend."

A/N: Hope you liked it! I know it's late but it's long to make up for it. And with an extra dose of Steve-feels. And some Thor. What did you think of the latest developments? I love to hear from you! Reviews are lovee!


	6. Chapter 6

There were explosions everywhere. As I struggled to get myself and Loki out of the cage, I could hear the damage the Hulk was causing fighting with Thor against those Viking warriors. I looked back for a minute and saw that the Hulk was throwing Thor against the other two, while the god wielded his hammer threateningly. The Asgardians had shields and weapons too, but this was going to help us get more time. Amongst the fight, I sneaked out with Loki towards the door, trying to ignore the many hits and people fighting behind us.

We left Thor and the rest of them behind us, trying to leave as discreetly as possible. The sound of the fighting (Hulk was not exactly a silent guy) would attract agents in no time and I was going to need to be quick to get Loki out. Not only the Vikings wanted him imprisoned, everyone in SHIELD except myself and Bruce, too. I ran, Loki following right behind me, through one of the hallways towards the place were we left the clothes and disguises.

Before we reached our destination, a man got out from the room where we were hiding our things. It was non other than Director Fury.

Damn!

"Captain!" He said, looking at me.

That was it. We were doomed. Fury was seeing that I was trying to break Loki out and he would bring him back, probably try to deliver him to those Vikings and that way avoid any more damage to the premises. And I would be interrogated for working with the enemy... maybe even expelled from SHIELD and The Avengers. But I was not going to give my friend up without a fight.

"What the hell happened, Rogers?" While I was thinking about something decent to say, Fury's eye moved and looked behind me. It was over. He had seen him.

"What the hell happened to your clothes, Hill?"

Wait, what? I looked behind me and found not Loki, but agent Maria Hill, wearing Loki's clothes. What the hell?

"I wish I knew, sir. I went to the cage as back-up when those Asgardians arrived, but Loki must've done some sort of spell. The next thing I remember is getting out of that place with the Captain."

I looked at her, surprised. That was Agent Hill's looks and voice, no doubt, but she hadn't been there before. Under her clothes I saw the shadow of Loki's burns and scars and finally understood. It was him, wearing another person's face. God, he truly was talented.

"So... Loki escaped?" Fury asked "I found some clothes he probably meant to wear on his escape.. But it looks like he changed his mind and decided to wear yours, Agent Hill. Logical, wearing the uniform would open him any door in the building..."

Loki-wearing-Hill's-face answered Fury.

"Yes, he escaped, whatever he did he made Banner hulk out and he is fighting the Asgardians. We got out because the Captain thinks he may know where Loki went and we presume that catching him is top priority now, right, Director?"

Fury nodded.

"Yes, of course, Agent. So... you know where he might be?" He said, looking at me. "I figured, with the amount of time you spent talking to him. All right, then, I won't waste any more of your time. Go for him and inform me with any developments."

I nodded, serious, trying not to let the many emotions I was feeling show up. Fear. Tension. Doubts.

"Of course, sir."

We entered the elevator and breathed, relieved. That had been an extremely close call. And now everyone knew that Loki was missing and would be looking for him. And we were still in the damn building. On the background, I could hear the Hulk roaring, getting closer. Possibly the Asgardians had realized that Loki was gone and started looking for him outside the cage, with Thor and Banner trying to stop them. Hill's voice got me out of my thoughts as the elevator went down.

"We have to get out fast. I won't be able to keep the spell alive much longer."

"Why don't you end it, then?" I asked, because I knew this had to be straining Loki terribly, taking into account the condition on which he'd been only hours before.

"There will be guards on every exit, looking for me, checking who comes in and especially who goes out. Once we fool them I will be able to change back again, but they will search everything. They will suspect me because I am wearing my clothes, so the face and the voice need to be flawless." He (or she?) said.

It was really strange to see Hill, with her feminine voice and body talking as if she were Loki. Hell, she was Loki, but no one would have said movements, the look everything screamed Maria Hill. I was friends with a shape-shifter.

Now, there was only an obstacle left before we could finally be free. Like Loki had said, the Agents would be checking every inch and we needed to be perfect. I wasn't used to going against the authorities so boldly, to being a fugitive, but when your cause is just, the rest doesn't matter. And SHIELD had proven to be dangerous in the past (building a Tesseract-based arsenal, for example). The ride on the elevator seemed eternal... as was every second of the escape. What if the cameras had caught Loki changing his face and there were armed guards waiting for us on the other side? What if the he wasn't able to keep the spell in place and SHIELD agents, or those Vikings got to him? I was not going to be able to hold them all down.

When the doors of the elevator opened, I saw gladly that there was no one waiting for us. I guided Loki/Hill towards one of the cars with every intention of ditching it for the one Banner and I had rented with a false name (I had it parked some blocks down the street) to avoid leaving any traces. But right now we had to act normal, we couldn't do anything out of the ordinary. I looked at Loki/Hill behind me, she looked exhausted but still standing and determined.

We got on one of the cars and passed the tests from the guards in the exit without a problem. One of them asked again what was going on with Hill's clothes and Loki answered quickly, like the serious agent she was. She (he?) seemed much more calmed about it than I was. But SHIELD people could think I was anxious because Loki had escaped. Yes. In less than ten minutes we had already changed cars and were leaving headquarters.

I could finally breathe.

As I drove in the highway, I looked at my passenger. Loki looked like himself again, in those worn out clothes. He was leaning on the window with his head, eyes closed, breathing heavily.

"You all right?" I asked him, worried.

"Yes, do not concern yourself. I am just tired from the effort."

"That was quite the trick you made, back there. When I saw Fury I thought all was lost... but... that was some quick thinking! And a good disguise, too. For a moment I actually thought it was Agent Hill behind me and not you!"

Loki didn't seem so impressed.

"It was sloppy. The minute Agent Hill appears anywhere on the building with her regular clothes they'll know that I escaped with you. And they will suspect you, seeing how much you visited me. At least we have the cover of the spell, we could say you really didn't know it was me." He sighed. "I should have made myself someone else, someone less obvious, a nameless faceless stranger that won't appear in front of Fury five minutes after I leave blowing my cover... but I did not have the strength to concentrate and Hill has similar height, complexion, hair and eye colour..."

"Hey! Don't sell yourself so short! It was amazing, especially considering the limited time amount you had. It was incredible." I told him, because it was. His magic was a most impressive force and the fact that in all this time he'd only used it to escape (and not for evil) only strengthened my conviction. He deserved the chance I was giving him.

"And what about the cameras and microphones? You took care of that too?" I asked him, curious.

"When I realised that you and Banner meant to break me free I cut all the video and sound systems of the building. Like I said, I was not feeling up to do anything that required concentration."

To say that Loki's magic was amazing would be an understatement. Even when the guy was sick. I glanced at him again and saw that he was absent mindedly rubbing his temples.

"You sure you're all right? You passed out only hours ago... and you still look quite bad, to be honest."

He half-smiled at me.

"Your concern is very touching, Steven, but I assure I am better. The medicine Doctor Banner provided is doing a great job and I am only tired because the spells I used were quite complicated. And shape-shifting always takes up much energy. But I will be all right, rest assured."

I nodded, eyes on the road, and decided to let Loki rest for a bit while we reached Banner's hiding place. And then, as I drove on a half deserted interstate road the reality of the situation sank in. I had just lied to a government institution and to most of my allies. I had lied and was now driving to a safe house to get stop a convict from being in jail. Yes, Loki was my friend, but talking to him in his cell and breaking him out of a federal institution were different things. I was getting him out of the way while pretending to be looking for him. I, who had struggled to serve my country and its institutions. Who was proud of being an honest man. I should probably be feeling bad about what was I was doing.

But I was not.

Truth was I felt kind of proud of myself. I hadn't wanted to be a soldier to help the institutions, what I wanted was to help people, make a difference. Take a stand for the things I thought were right. And this, however wrong it seemed, was the right thing to do. Loki had changed, that much was clear, and even if he hadn't no one deserved the treatment he got in Asgard. His crimes had been horrible, but nothing justified what had been done to him. Maybe it was all a trick... but it sure looked like it wasn't. Loki had been perfectly pleased in his cell in SHIELD. He didn't mean to attack us again. He just wanted to escape from his bullies. And I was helping him do just that.

Banner's place was still some hours away, so after three hours driving I stopped in one of those places where you order food from your car, to eat in the car itself. I didn't want to go to eat in public in case someone recognized us and Loki's torn clothes stood out quite a lot. I wore a cap that shadowed my face, in case there were cameras in the place. One couldn't be too careful. I ordered some burgers, fries and drinks for me and for Loki, who was quietly sleeping in the passenger seat, probably to regain some strength. As strange as it could sound (this was Loki the villain, the murderer, the...) the truth was that he looked quite angelic sleeping. His skin was so terribly pale and he looked so vulnerable, asleep on those clothes...

I didn't want to wake him up but the food was going to get cold, and after so much action, we needed to eat. I stopped the car in a gas station and softly woke him. At first he seemed confused and looked around as if not knowing where he was. Then he saw me and I smiled.

"Did I fall asleep?" I nodded. "You must forgive me. I should have provided better company but I am quite tired. I extended the shielding spell to you as well, so Sif and the others will not be able to find us using Heimdall but... all of this magic has worn me out, I'm afraid."

"It's no problem, Loki. Here, I bought us some food to recharge our batteries a bit before arriving at the place. We still have four or five hours until we get to Banner's place but I don't think there will be much problem to arrive." I passed the food to my passenger and started eating.

I hadn't realised how hungry I was until I started eating. God, everything was delicious. I could not stop eating.

Loki looked at me and grabbed his Cola. He kept looking at me but said nothing. What? Had I done something wrong?

"You want to say something, Loki?"

He looked away and then looked at me again. Whatever he was going to say, it was obvious it was a big deal for him. He took a deep breath and finally spoke:

"I... I have no words to describe how thankful I am to you and to Doctor Banner, Captain. You took a great risk to free me and went against very powerful people for my sake. I shall not forget it."

I smiled with my mouth full of food.

"You're welcome, Loki. We only did what we thought was right. Like we always do."

His smile didn't reach his eyes, but his expression had softened a bit.

"So," he continued, while playing with his fries "what are you planning on saying when you go back? That you could not find me or that we fought and I escaped? I would choose the second one, or else they could think you let me go. They are already quite suspicious as it is, after all the time we spent together."

I stopped chewing for a bit.

"What do you mean, when I get back?" I asked, after swallowing the food.

"When you leave me at Banner's place and return to SHIELD, of course." He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm not leaving you there alone, Loki. I'm staying with you until this is all solved."

"Solved? And how is it going to be solved, if I may ask? I am a fugitive of the justice of two different realms, everybody is looking for me and I'm slowly fading. I truly appreciate your help, but you should run while you still have the chance. Right now, Fury and the rest of your allies ignore that you helped me get out. Take the chance, say that I deceived you, go back to your life. If your stay longer they will find out you were working with me and get in a lot of trouble. And I do not know the details of your legal system, but I am quite sure that aiding a convict escape the law is a crime of its own. Run while you can."

"I will explain to Fury and the others what's happened with you, like I did with Bruce, they will understand!" I said, a bit angry. "This can be solved, Loki."

"No, it cannot. Do you think government will allow me to evade my punishment? Do you think they will protect me and risk damage to their planet and to their inhabitants to help a known terrorist? Your friends are the heroes of the earth and I am an enemy of this planet. You defend this place from me and people like me. I am, by law, condemned to life in prison. And you and your friends were the ones to tie me and hand me over to justice. How likely do you think it is that this same people whose houses I destroyed, whose minds I tampered with and who I insulted will come to help me? There is no happy end for me, Steven Rogers. I have fallen into the abyss and I would not be as grateful as I claim if I dragged into it with me."

So many words, but only a few of those had stuck. Loki wanted me to leave him and go back to SHIELD, like nothing had happened. To tell everyone that he had deceived me and act like I too thought that he was a dangerous I would never see him again and I would be able to do nothing if he was in danger. Just leave him.

Well, that was not happening. I cleaned my face and used my _serious-soldier_ voice.

"I am not abandoning you, Loki. You're sick and I am going to help you, whether you like it or not. And don't even think of magicking me to change my mind. If you make me leave, I will find you again and then again."

He lowered his gaze.

"I will only bring you misfortune and disgrace, Steven Rogers. Think hard about what you are doing and the nefarious consequences this could bring you."

"I have made my decision. Not only for you but for me as well. I could not live with myself if you were brought back to that place, to die or lose your mind. Not when I could have prevented it. I need to help you if I want to live with myself. And I want to do it! We used to be enemies, I know, but you're my friend now and I don't have many of those. I'm only asking you to accept my help. And to eat your food, too. You're so skinny I can see your bones!"

Loki didn't seem convinced but let the matter go. While we ate we talked about decisions and regrets. It was easy talking to him and he was a great listener. Just a nice meal with a friend. Then we started moving again and he told me about his magic and I told him about what I've been doing the last months. He just listened.

If all this went sour and I never saw Loki again or if he went crazy, at least I would have the memory of this good day. But as the end of our trip got near I could see Loki's spirits declining and his cough made an unwelcome reappearance. Not to mention the horrid tinge those shadows under his eyes had.

Finally, after a seven-hour-long trip we arrived at Banner's place and entered, careful no person or machine was watching us. It was a big, messy, dusty place with lots of books everywhere. I located the different rooms: bathroom, living room, study, kitchen... When I came back to the biggest room I saw that Loki was sprawled out in a sofa, eyes closed, hands clutching at his stomach, coughing softly every now and then. I thought about what Banner had said: _he's in a lot of pain, all the time_. A broken down angel.

I didn't make a noise as I left the room to prepare some dinner because I knew that if he knew I'd seen him like that he would be ashamed. That proud, proud man.

And then I thought about Thor's escorts, Fury and his agents all looking for him, to take him back to prison. Saying that it was the right to do. That he was getting what he deserved. Back to torture and humiliation.

Not on my watch.

A/N: Less angst more Steve Loki friendship this time. Bruce and Thor will be back next chapter. Did you like it? Hope you did!

Reviews are love!


	7. Chapter 7

I left Loki resting and had dinner by myself, tired after the trip.

When I woke up the next day, Loki looked even worse. He insisted on being fine but I believed none of it. The dark shadows under his eyes were more pronounced, even if he had slept the whole night and part of the previous evening. And he seemed to have problems standing up. Damn.

I made a nice breakfast with whatever I could find in the house (some tea, some chocolate, some nice biscuits…) and managed to convince Loki to eat a bit, but it had been a bad idea. He only managed to keep it down for a minutes, which concerned me. I didn't understand; he'd been okay eating in the cell, feverish and sore but better than this. He smiled and told me not to worry.

At mid-morning I got a call from Banner telling me that he and Thor would be there in a couple of hours. I told Banner to bring as many medical equipment as he possibly could, seeing how much Loki had deteriorated. He said it was no problem and hung up, but before I heard Thor's potent voice speaking on the side "Tell the Captain I said hello."

It was nice to know they were coming because I really didn't know how to handle the situation. I had almost no knowledge of medicine and especially of whatever had been done to him in Asgard. So Bruce and Thor would be a highly esteemed help.

As sick as he may have looked, Loki refused to act as a victim or an invalid and so he challenged to a game of chess, after finding a board on Banner's living room. I was happy about it, it would provide a nice distraction and it also happened to be a game that I loved. But part of me was afraid of winning too quickly (I was quite good in my younger years) and against Loki. Winning a guy who was sick would be adding insult to injury, kicking the man when he was down. Turned out I had overestimated my ability and Loki was saying checkmate before I had time to realize what was happening with my pieces.

There was a tense moment when we heard police sirens blaring. There was probably a country-wide search for Loki (that dangerous fugitive) by now and I feared they might know about this place, suspect Banner's involvement. After all, it was him Hulking out what gave us the chance to escape, even if there were no working cameras to be witness. It was a false alarm. Fortunately, the patrol was going to somewhere in the end of the street, not after us. Crisis avoided.

It felt weird being a fugitive. For most of my life, I had been a law-abiding citizen. A man who didn't only obey the rules, but who watched that the rest of the people did so too. An exemplary citizen, poster boy of what was right, who made the authorities proud. Now I was escaping the authorities. I was afraid to be caught. And it was really strange.

The doubts, of course, were still there, no matter how fond I had grown of Loki. What I was doing was a crime. I had even involved an innocent man (Banner) who had almost no relationship with Loki just to help me in my plans. My plans of breaking a criminal free from his jailers here and in his hometown. I was defying to sets of justice systems, not to mention my reputation, for the sake of this man. Was it really worth it?

"Rematch?" Loki asked.

Of course it was worth it.

At around noon, Banner and Thor arrived. The god of thunder, dressed like a normal person for once (even if he still had his hammer with him), didn't even say hello. He just dropped the hammer in the floor and went straight to Loki, with shining eyes.

"Brother!"

He hugged Loki with his very characteristic force and brutality.

"I am filled with joy at the sight of you without those chains and restraints, Loki." Thor took Loki's face in his hands and looked at his brother straight on. "You know I fought for you, right? Until my very last breath I tried to stop Asgard's tortuous crusade against you. I even tried to break you out of your cell, but Heimdall became aware and alerted Odin. I so wish I could have helped you better, Loki. You have no idea how much it hurt me, seeing the horrors they did to you. I am so glad to see you free again, I…"

Thor's voice cracked a bit and I realized that I had never seen so much emotion in the stoic Norse warrior. After hesitating, Loki returned the embrace and lost himself in his brother's enormous frame. Banner, feeling awkward, left for the car to get some of the equipment but I stayed there, in a distance, smiling at the family reunion. Alien or not, family was a value, an asset that was universal. I was glad these two had it. I was glad they had each other. I saw, even from the distance, that Loki's eyes were holding back the tears.

The emotion flooded the room. Loki looked down, apparently ashamed.

"I could not imagine that you would defend me after what I did to you. That you would want to remain my brother after I denied you, tried to kill you even… You were in the only hope I had in those times of torment."

Thor put one of his hands under Loki's chin, forcing him once again to look him in the eye.

"Remember what you said before my failed coronation? It goes both ways. I do not mind who birthed you or how much the Allfather despises you. I love you, no matter what. Never forget that."

Finally, a couple of tears made their way down Loki's cheeks. Thor wiped them off.

"No more tears, Loki. I swear I will not let any more harm befall you."

This was a really emotive moment, so I went out to help Dr. Banner with the things from the car, not wanting to intrude. I used the occasion to thank Banner (or Bruce, as he'd told me to call him) for providing us with the place and the many gadgets he had brought. And for his part in our escape, too. Bruce just dismissed me, saying it had been nothing. When we returned to the house, the brothers were no longer hugging.

"What of Sif and Fandral?" Loki asked and I imagined those were the names of the Asgardians. Now, that interested me. I would much rather not face those Vikings again.

"We sent Sif to Germany and Fandral to a place called Iceland." Thor said. "I told them there were witnesses of your presence there and to search every inch of the countries while I searched this one. I did not enjoy lying to my friends but at least we should be safe from them for a while."

"I shall hide you from Heimdall's watch too, to be more certain. I have modified the spell so it will not dissolve should I lose consciousness again."

Loki said and closed his eyes, probably making the spell. I wanted to complain (Loki should not be doing any more magic being as weak as he was) but Bruce's voice interrupted my thoughts and prevented me from saying anything else.

"I took care of SHIELD the best I could. I spoke to Hill and asked her to give your version if she was asked, as a personal favor. I don't think she will be any problem. I also told Fury that…"

But I was not paying attention to Banner anymore. My gaze was now fixed in Loki, who seemed to be in pain. There was a sudden look of pain flashing through his eyes and then they were rolling on the back of his head and he was falling forward. I barely had time to react and catch him before he reached the floor, but I did.

"Loki!" Thor screamed at the sight. "What is happening?"

I shook him lightly but there was no reaction.

"We were hoping you could tell us, Thor." Banner said. "We've healed the wounds and treated the symptoms but he's been getting worse, specially these last few days. He also seems to be in a lot of pain, but I couldn't figure out the exact cause. From the way his body's been reacting we think there is something inside him causing this, but we don't know what. Maybe it's because of something that they to him in your… planet?"

I looked at Thor, hopeful.

"I know not the cause for this state, regretfully. Loki was hurt deeply, but should have recovered with the help of a healer such as yourself, Doctor Banner and with time. I do not know the nature of his ailment, sorry."

I put him on the sofa, gently. The movement did not wake him, sadly. Banner went to fetch a medical kit.

"He passed out a couple of days ago, too. And yesterday he didn't look so good while we were coming here, either." I mentioned.

"Did you notice any other changes this last couple of days?"

Banner asked me. I had, in fact, noticed something. I really hope it was important, there was obviously no time to lose.

"In the cell, he ate normally, just like me. He complained about the food but that was it. But yesterday he barely touched his burger and this morning he couldn't keep his breakfast down. Oh! And yesterday when we arrived, I found him clutching at his stomach with his hands. Maybe that's where the problem is?"

"Could be, could be… I could do an ultrasound, see if there is anything wrong. Steve, take him to the bedroom upstairs, I think it will be the best place to set up medical. Thor, can you help me carry this things? Some of them are quite heavy." Banner said and everyone started to move.

I took Loki from the sofa, as gently as I could, and carried him upstairs – bridal style. If anyone had told me a couple of months before that I would do such a thing I would have laughed at them. Things had really changed. Loki was terribly limp as I carried him and he was still pale as death. Whatever was happening to him it was obvious that he had reached his limit and was now going downhill. Fast. His skin looked even whiter in contrast with my tan. And those dark shadows were still under his eyes… I wondered if he had slept at all.

I wondered if he could sleep in his cell in Asgard or if he remained awake trying to figure out his next punishment, trying to gather strength. I wondered how many sleepless nights he had passed, trying to think of ways to get back to the bullies, like he had. Trying to recover your self-esteem while others had played with it. I wondered if Thor had known about it, or cared about it.

I put him on the bed and his head fell to the side. I wondered if he was suffering in that moment. I wonder how much he had suffered.

Banner and Thor come soon enough, and Banner starts plugging and setting many of the electrical devices. I had no idea what half of them were (when I started trying to figure out the technology I had started with communication, not medicine) but if they were going to help, then I was as happy as I was confused. I realized that most of them had the Stark industries logo on them and frowned. Now we were stealing too, apart from escaping the authorities?

"Don't worry, Steve" Banner said "Tony knows I have this things, I borrowed them to improve my medical skills. We're not stealing."

"Am I really that transparent?"

Banner smiled at me and nodded.

"What is that?" I asked looking at the machine Banner was plugging. Hospitals in my time didn't have all those materials. In fact, they barely had supplies at all.

"Portable high-resolution ultrasound equipment. It is used to see inside the body, using sound waves." Banner explained.

"Fascinating." I answered.

"We will have to take off his shirt and apply this gel on his stomach. With a bit of luck, the cold will wake him up." Banner said and I unbuttoned the shirt while Thor looked from behind. He cringed when he saw the state of his brother's chest and stomach, the same way I did when I saw it in the cell. But it was harder for Thor probably, knowing that his own friends and family had caused all those scars. Banner applied the gel but nothing happened. Loki remained lifeless and pale on the sheets, even if a cold sweat had broken in his brow. Banner connected the machine and at passing a white thingy over Loki's stomach an image appeared on a screen.

After passing some seconds amazed at the technology all three of us noted something weird in the image. Something metallic among the organs and other biologic parts.

"What on earth is that?" Banner asked, adjusting his glasses.

I got closer to the screen, too. It was some sort of metallic hexagon, with many pointed edges that seemed embedded in the tissue. I knew Loki was an alien but that didn't seem natural.

"Thor?" I asked, hoping the thunderer would have some answer.

"I know not why that device is inside Loki… it seems to be a Chitauri weapon of some sort."

Damn. My mind started making connections I didn't like, answering questions long ago asked. Questions about Loki's behavior on the invasion. Questions about his alliance with that alien army.

"It's probably what causing all of this, whatever it is. See that around the edges, scar tissue." Banner starts, uncertain "this… thing is causing quite a lot of damage on the area and it's probably the origin of the pain. I can't be sure but it's possible that his body had been handling the pain, probably since even before the invasion. But at some point his body couldn't handle the pain and started fighting it… That's when he got sick on the cell, yeah…. But all that effort, and the fight, and the magic here… He's reached his limit and is shutting down, to concentrate on fighting this thing out."

"There is no way his body can expel a thing as big as that." I mention, worried. "All that fight is only consuming his energy, not helping."

"I know…." Banner said looking at the image with sadness "And I don't see any scars matching the dimensions and location of that thing. It was probably introduced with magic."

Then Thor spoke.

"It explains why it took Loki so long to escape. If he had not been in pain, he could have fought the Allfather like he has done with all his previous tormentors. I was so blind… But why would the Chitauri do something like that?"

That I thought I could answer. It was only a theory, but it was solid.

"I had thought about that. In the battle of Earth, the Chitauri put their whole army at risk at the orders of Loki. All their manpower. And how could they know he was not going to betray them? A guy who is known for tricking people, for lying. How could they know he wasn't going to use his magic to keep the Tesseract and just use them? Sure, they probably threatened him, but I'm sure people have threatened him before and that hasn't stopped him."

"That is quite correct." Thor said, voice booming.

"They needed more safety, a way of knowing that Loki wouldn't turn on them, that he would follow through."

Banner seemed to grasp where I was going.

"So they stick this inside him in some way in which he can't get it out and tell him _if you don't do what you promised, we use that thing to kill you. We'll take it out once you've won. _Like a hostage situation with his own self. God, that's probably why he looked so sick when he arrived on earth."

"Like that there's no way he would stop, even if things were looking bad. Even if he knew he was going to lose, he couldn't pretend to break down in front of Thor because if they didn't get the Tesseract the Chitauri would kill him. From the inside. And even after the explosion there could have been more Chitauri watching, waiting or him to deliver the Tesseract."

"He should have told me." Thor said, sad, sitting next to his unconscious brother. "I would have helped, he only needed to ask."

"But telling you would have been admitting that he didn't have the upper hand. He was trying to look mighty and that would have only shown that his actions were not totally his own. That he wasn't as strong as he pretending to be." I answered. Banner continued.

"I think maybe he told someone and they used the information against him. When I asked what was wrong with him in the cell, I told him that I was going to help- that I was on his side, and he answered _I wish I could believe you_. He told someone he thought could help and it backfired."

Thor's eyes widened.

"Mother!" he said "She used to visit him in the cell and in one occasion I found her crying after a visit. A short while later, I noticed that the Allfather's punishments had a deeper effect on Loki. She probably told Father so Loki could be taken to a healer and Odin decided to continue the punishments instead. He has shown no mercy towards him since he was brought back."

Banner seemed unimpressed.

"Yes, fathers can make the greatest bullies." He said, after printing something and while putting away the machine. He then went and cleaned Loki's stomach, a defeated look in his eyes.

I closed my fists, angry.

This was so much worse than having some kids in Brooklyn harass you.

This went against so many things, it was so wrong.

It was overkill.

Loki was under death-threat all that time he fought us. And if he had said something, who would have believed him? He probably thought that we would consider it a pity-story or laugh at him for being the weak, controllable guy everything thought him to be. Or use it against him like Odin had. Now I could understand better the pain Loki showed when someone mentioned Asgard. Not only they had punished him horribly, they had betrayed his trust in his darkest hour. When he needed them the most. Suddenly I understood how the cell in SHIELD might have seemed welcoming.

I saw Thor caressing his brother's sweaty face, after Banner had checked his vitals once more.

I felt useless.

I felt angry.

But I was not a man who gave up so easily.

"So, how do we save him?"

Bruce sighed.

"I honestly don't know how. His fever is going up again and… he'll probably get in a coma before sundown, the way things are going."

"We have to do something!" I screamed. I hadn't come so far just to see the man die or fall asleep to never wake up again.

Thor looked up at Bruce.

"Doctor Banner, you are a skilled healer and scientist. Surely there must be something you can do to take that device out of him. I would do it myself with a… knife, whatever necessary, but I think with you he would have a better chance at surviving."

Banner said no with his head.

"That would require a major surgery, I've only operated twice in India and… he's not stable and…"

"But you could do it?" I asked. If there was any chance, however unlikely it seemed, we would take it.

"I could try, but the odds aren't good. We don't know if I could take it out with surgical instruments if that thing his magic and he could die on the table, if the anesthetics are not working, or if it's too much strain…" He stopped for a moment and then looked at us beofre continuing. "And, honestly, it's a huge responsibility. I don't want to kill your brother. Your friend. I only wanted to help."

I understood Banner's was a difficult position, but it had to be done.

"We are his only hope, Bruce. And if we get that thing out of him and explain the others that he was not completely to blame for new York, what the Chitauri did to him maybe we could give him that chance we all got."

Banner looked at Loki's thin frame, shirt still open, scars standing out against the white skin.

I sighed, knowing that all signs pointed to having a funeral before the end of the week.

We were heroes. We were supposed to stop this kind of thing.

"Please, Doctor Banner." Thor said. "Before I lose my brother forever. If you could just… try."

Banner hesitated and looked at his patient again, all eyes on him. Then he got up.

"Ok, people, we'll try. I'll set an O.R. in my lab in the basement, clean it, sterilize it… Steve, how would you like to play nurse?"

"Delighted to, Doctor Banner."

"Let's get to it, then."

A/N: I have struggled with this chapter for weeks, so I hope you like it. On the plus side, it's really long. And it explains things, I think. And it has nice, loving, helpful Thor. (In my other stories and much more mean to him) Hope you liked it! Please do review! And if you like this stuff maybe you'll like my other ongoing stories- London (a bunch of Loki and Bruce friendship) and Prisoner (Loki aaangst). Anyways, do tell me what you thought of the latest developments!

Reviews are love!


	8. Chapter 8

I tried to keep my cool, but it was not easy. I may have done and seen many things for my (relatively) young age but I had never assisted in a major surgery like this one. Much less of someone I knew. Someone with who I played chess. It was a bit scary but I was not going to let the fear get the best of me. I needed to be efficient, focused, flawless. Someone's life was literally in our hands. This may be a different kind of war but I was the exemplary soldier, I would be too in this mission.

But my medical knowledge was very limited, which made me a bit nervous. Suddenly, I wish I had studied more medicine and first aid and less modern history and politics. I knew the basics, yes, but doing a tourniquet with a piece of cloth was very different to opening up someone and taking something connected to him. At least we had Doctor Banner, who knew his good share of medicine even if he was a physicist. I couldn't help but feel some admiration for the guy, he'd been in a terrible lab accident that had gruesome side effects and yet he continued learning, studying, doing good. A truly remarkable man.

I obediently followed the doctor's orders to set up the make shift surgery. I handled every piece with extreme care, fearing I would break something of importance, something necessary for the delicate operation we were about to perform. After we set up the room with the many machines we cleaned and disinfected the place and then did the same with the surgical material. Bruce told me what was the purpose and name of everything, so I'd be able to recognize it when he asked for it. Some of the things I already knew, others were too modern for me. Then he explained me what my job was going to be, and I tried to memorize every word. This was a mission of grave importance.

I prayed as hard as I could for everything to go all right. I prayed to be able to do my job correctly. I prayed for Doctor Banner, so he'd be able to get that thing out without complication. But most of all, I prayed Loki would make it out alive.

When everything was set and ready, Bruce called Thor and the thunderer brought his brother down, slowly but firmly. After Loki was set down on the table I saw he'd deteriorated in the few hours in which we'd been getting everything ready. His face was even paler than it had been before with shadows of blue and purple where his veins were. His breathing was too slow, too shallow, everything was wrong. Time was really running low.

He looked broken and I didn't like it. He was always so proud, standing up to Fury, to us, probably to Odin on his homeland. Where other people had wanted him broken, he'd stood whole. Dignified. Unbulliable, somehow. But now... he was a shadow of his former self, limp, defeated. And it was up to us to fix him. It was up to us if he lived or died. I tried to focus again. I needed to be perfect, not anxious. _Forget your every thought, just work._

After putting the anesthesia, the game was on. I passed Bruce the scalpel and he started doing the incision on his scarred stomach. I tried not to think of how my friend was being cut up and opened like an animal. _This is a mission,_ I told myself, _nothing else. Mission retrieve the Chitauri weapon. _It didn't matter if the weapon happened to be inside a living, breathing person - we had to get it. It was necessary, our orders. Just retrieve the thing. And it was certainly not _Mission save Loki's life_ - that mission was too personal, to close to the heart. No, we were just two soldiers retrieving a dangerous device from the enemy. Nothing else.

I saw Bruce extremely concentrated doing his job (moving around the scalpel, searching) and suddenly I felt extremely thankful for having him. What would have happened if I had called on Stark for help, instead of him? I didn't even want to know.

"We're here." He said, and I saw the glimmer of metal inside the incision.

And to think that thing had been inside a person all that time...

Bruce was trying to sever the connections of the metallic thing to Loki's body but couldn't. Hard as he tried, he couldn't. He changed instruments and couldn't. It was useless, all his efforts were useless. After some minutes, he looked at me at me and said:

"Bring me a knife. The sharpest thing you can find." I was temporarily frozen. Did he really mean to...? "Now, Steve, there's no time. We need that thing out."

Of course. The mission had to be finished, no matter the means. I went to the kitchen and brought a big, sharp knife to the improvised operating room, trying to push away all dark thoughts. This was going to work. It had to. We were doing what needed to be done. Nothing else.

Bruce continued cutting and I looked away not wanting to see how similar to a butchery this was. It was just too cruel.

Suddenly, some of the machines started beeping just as Bruce finally cut the tissue free from the weapon. There was blood flowing out of Loki's closed eyes, and for both corners of his mouth.

"We have to stop! We're killing him!" I cried, fearing the worst.

Banner was having none of it.

"He's just as dead if we leave this inside him. You said it yourself, we're his only chance. And Loki is strong. He can take this, I'm sure he can."

He was looking at me, gaze unwavering, and then continued. Of course. Focus, Steve, go back to the mission. That is the only thing that matters. I tried to remain impassive but it was just very difficult for me. Watching a friend die. Feeling I was causing his death. _He can take this, _ I said, _it's all for the best. _There was just so much blood and it fell on the floor and... this felt like a nightmare.

Then, after much cutting and bleeding everything was almost cut and Bruce instructed me to take the thing in my hand so I didn't fall inside our patients. So I had to stick my hand inside and hold the thing. Trying not to think, _just follow your orders, Steve,_ I reached until I touched the metal device. I almost dropped it because it gave me a mild but noticeable electric shock. But I couldn't drop it or everything could go downhill very fast. I held on to it while Bruce cut the last part and I took out my hand. Finally, the thing was out, covered in blood in my hand and I quickly left it in a table behind me. The damned thing had been shocking my hand all the time. The machines stopped beeping finally, went back to normal. Yes.

Banner and I breathed, relieved.

"Thank god." I muttered.

Banner half-smiled at me. A true hero.

"Ok, let's close him up and we're done." He said.

I passed him the sutures and noticed that my hands were shaking slightly. _He can take it_, I told myself, _he already has_. He's stronger than all of them. Stronger than all his bullies combined. An extraordinary warrior. Some minutes later the incision was closed and the operation finished without further complications. Finally.

"Can you clean him? I'm going to wash my hands." Banner said.

"Sure thing, Doctor. And thanks a million, Bruce. You did an incredible job - you may not have a license, but you're an amazing Doctor." He smiled.

"Thank you too, Steve. I can see this hasn't been easy for you. But we did it."

"We're great, aren't we?"

"We are."

"And Loki is alive and on the road to recovery."

"Thanks to us."

We shared a look of victory, sweet victory. Mission accomplished.

I carefully cleaned Loki's face with some gauzes, feeling something similar to happiness. Of course there were still problems in front of us: SHIELD, Asgard... But as long as no one was in immediate danger of death, I was sure we could make it. We could face anything we wanted - we were stronger, better, enemies could do nothing against us. We were smart, strong: we were together. And with Thor on our side we had the power of half the Avengers: a force to be beckoned with. Now the only thing we needed was some time so Loki could heal. We would show Tony and the others the weapon, what it did and they would understand.

I looked again and the pale face.

"You have been so strong, Loki. So incredibly strong and brave. I wish I could somehow wipe the darkness from your past... Help you heal. Whatever you did on Asgard before the Chitauri, that damned race who basically forced you into doing their bidding with that ugly thing. All the people you killed too, I wished that never happened, I wish I had known you before, helped you step away from the edge of the abyss, before it was too late. I wish I could erase us handing you over to Asgard, where they did so many bad things to you. I wish I could erase all the blood in your hands and all the blood you bled."

But maybe without all that he wouldn't be as strong as he was now. Capable of withstanding so much, and still standing. Maybe it had been all the mockery, all the hurt and the disdain which had made him built that impressive dignity of his.

I was probably getting too sentimental for a guy that I hadn't known all that long. Hell, I had known Stark or Barton much longer and I didn't seem as concerned for their well-being. Well, they had never been tortured by their own parents, but still. There was something about Loki that connected with me. Something about in the way he'd looked at Fury when he called him pathetic, something about how out of place he was among us, something in his smile something... that spoke to me.

"Don't worry." I told the still form "you'll be as good as new in no time."

Which posed a new problem - what if all this had been a ploy to make us get that thing out of him? What if all the niceness, the empathy disappeared now that he had gotten what he wanted? What if after all this time he had only been using me? What if he went back to his villainous self, now that he was healed and wreaked havoc in the world again? It was a possibility I couldn't dismiss: Loki was incredibly smart and had a reputation of being unexpected.

I really didn't think that was the case but many people had told me before that I only saw the good in people. That I expected too much of others. That I was too trusting, that I should be more realistic. Nevertheless, I really hoped that Loki would remain the friend he'd been this last weeks, I would really miss him if he went back to his evil ways.

But that was not going to happen, I was sure. I saw myself fighting alongside him with Thor and the rest of them. A dream, probably, but a nice one.

Right now, all clean and pale, he looked positively angelic. Like he'd been when we came here, asleep.

I went out and cleaned myself as well. When I went out Thor was there, expectant. Suddenly, I was incredibly happy to have good news. I may have superhuman strength, but an angry Thor... it could be something not even my shield could stop.

"It went well, Thor. We got that thing out." I failed to mention how his brother bled out of his eyes or how we'd been forced to use a kitchen knife on him. He didn't need to know that.

"Can I see him?" He asked.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll lead you."

So I went with him, slowly, and quickly appeared in the room where Loki was. He was the same way I left him, unmoving, limp, pale. Only the slight rise and fall of his chest and beeping of the machines told us he was still alive. Thor took a stool

"He just... he looks so terribly sick." Thor was complaining, gently stroking his brother's cheek. "I should have known what the Chitauri had done to him when I found him here, I should have tried further to get the truth out of him, I should have...I let the Chitauri mistreat him, then we did, the so-called Avengers and then the Allfather and the authorities of our kind of brother am I?"

"Regretting it is useless, Thor, none of us can change the past. The important thing is that you're here now."

Thor had a strange look on his face, something between sadness and hope.

"I thank you for your help, Captain Rogers. You were there for my brother when I couldn't achieved much more than I ever did. I know not what would have become of Loki if it wasn't for you."

I nodded in his direction. It was nice to be recognised every once in a while.

"I will stay here until he awakens, if you will not mind, friend Rogers."

"Sure, I'm sure he'll appreciate having you around when he wakes. Tell me if anything changes, ok?"

"I will."

And so I left the two brothers and left for the shower. It had been a long day - well, couple of days... It had been a long week. Planning and plotting the escape, actually escaping, finding the place, fearing someone might find us, Loki collapsing, the operation... I may be a super soldier, but even the likes of me can get tired. More psychologically than physically, but tired nevertheless. I would get a nice long shower, check on the patient again and if everything was all right go to sleep. Yes... bed. Nice long bed. Sleep. Whatever.

The shower was heaven on earth. A way to wash away every doubt, every insecurity. A piece of paradise. I left all the remaining nerves from the operation wash up, disappear. We would deal with tomorrow's problems tomorrow. Now it was the moment to celebrate.

So I went out of the shower, dripping wet, clad only in a white not too big towel, hoping none of my friends would see me that way (why did I always forget to bring in the clothes?) when I saw a strange man in the corridor. A strange man with strange clothes and white hair and an eyepatch. Shit.

"I require to my speak with my son, mortal. I know he hides in here instead of doing the duty I gave him. Take me to him."

No way. This could not be happening.

"And you are?"

I was almost sure, but I needed to hear. Just when I thought things were starting to get better.

"I an Odin, ruler of Asgard. And I have come here to deliver justice."

A/N: Yes, it's not so good. But the story is ending, and my endings tend to be not-so-good. To compensate, there's Steve wearing only a towel. Yeshhh. Anyways, I hope to see your reviews! And thanks for the support to the story so far! Next time there will be more Loki, I promise :) And a big-bad confrontation too.

Please review! For the love of Loki and Bruce's glasses and Steve's tiny white towel, review!


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